The Energon Pub

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Chris McFeely wrote:I've been so busy at TFNation this week that I've barely had time to post! Last night, Jim Sorenson and I performed a massive two-and-a-half hour presentation going through the original, long-lost first draft of The Transformers: The Movie, for the first time anywhere in the world! If you're at the con today, join us at 12:30 for a much more sedate panel as we talk more about this draft and how we got from there to the film we know!

No video of this panel from me - it's a collaborative effort with Jim and TFNation's team of talented artists, so I don't consider it "mine" to post. I'm unsure if Tfnation are recording it themselves. Check out my twitter feed for a retweet of a thread live-blogging last night's panel as it happened!

I didn't see a thread for TFNation, but whatever. This poster is what intrigued me, more than this weekend's event. Three characters I don't immediately recognise and the bizarre "crowned" look for the Seekers?

Obviously if anyone wants to add either the panel reading or elaboration on the poster, feel free.

In terms of a proper writeup of the panel and thus the script contents? I believe certain long-term members here have that in hand, so I shall keep schtum.

Indeed, a full report will be incoming. Stay tuned.

Bloody hell that's a lot to take in.

Rusty Steel? ugh ... just ... no.
Tanker - Oh man, I want a figure of this guy.
Rails - Love the "snake oil" tanks, very interesting concept.
Gestapo Sweep - Gestapo part aside, I'd love to see a black Scourge redeco with a one-eyed Whirl head.

Reading all that as an adult, I wouldn't have enjoyed it. But as a 10 year old who knew no better? I probably would have loved it.

And that's tragic.

As you will soon begin to see, "incoherent" is the kindest word one could use to describe it, as it honestly feels like Friedman just made up as he went along.

I agree that "incoherent" is too kind. Personally, I would go for "abysmally incompetent".

Something that has been out there for a while, but now gains new context: Floro Dery's first sketch of The Entity:



And of course, there's the outline for the second script. Which is clearly drawn up by the Sunbow office and handed to Friedman. To metaphorically grab this first script by the scruff of the neck and make it get with the program. Pay particular attention to Friedman's handwritten notes scrawled throughout the document.



https://drive.google.com/file/d/1tAWJAG ... sp=sharing

Thank you for such a through post. Can anyone give me the discord server link that I can join here? Would greatly appreciate it.

Looking over my report, I just now realized there was one image I meant to post during the Act 3 portion but forgot to (it's there now, though): The Entity transforming Planet Unicron:

The main thing I notice is how much better the Decepticons are treated in the final script as opposed to this one. This still had the slapstick nature of the series in play. Which doesn't really work within the tone of the film. Hence why you notice, more so now, that all associated humour with the Decepticons was scrapped completely. Hence why, for possibly the only time in Sunbow, the Decepticons were treated as a very real threat in TFTM.

Also kind of prefer Wheeljack dying offscreen. Than suffering this depiction onscreen.

Really like the idea of a Triple Changer, going from train to snake to..? Would have definitely preferred this to the eventual Sky-Lynx (who I can't stand).

Well done to Sabr and associates for gifting us with the script breakdown.

Lastly, as a kid who adored TFTM. I would have hated this first script.

AllNewSuperRobot wrote:Really like the idea of a Triple Changer, going from train to snake to..?

Rails transformed from an old locomotive to a bullet train to a snake robot. Two train altmodes.

Basically, all three of his modes would have been a rectangle.

Sabrblade wrote:

AllNewSuperRobot wrote:Really like the idea of a Triple Changer, going from train to snake to..?

Rails transformed from an old locomotive to a bullet train to a snake robot. Two train altmodes.

Basically, all three of his modes would have been a rectangle.

Oh right? I didn't pick up on that reading through. His figure would have been quite easy within G1 then

A lot to unpack, but great work compiling this. The tone and tenor of what you've described - even the slapstick nonsensical comedy - is a lot like My Little Pony the movie, if any of you have seen that...it was much more 'cartoony' fare.

sol magnus wrote:A lot to unpack, but great work compiling this. The tone and tenor of what you've described - even the slapstick nonsensical comedy - is a lot like My Little Pony the movie, if any of you have seen that...it was much more 'cartoony' fare.

If we're talking about the G1 movie in 1986, then no. George Arthur Bloom on his worst day could run circles around Ron Friedman when it came to storytelling.

Greebtron wrote:

sol magnus wrote:A lot to unpack, but great work compiling this. The tone and tenor of what you've described - even the slapstick nonsensical comedy - is a lot like My Little Pony the movie, if any of you have seen that...it was much more 'cartoony' fare.

If we're talking about the G1 movie in 1986, then no. George Arthur Bloom on his worst day could run circles around Ron Friedman when it came to storytelling.

I'm talking about the above first draft of TF:TM. Not the final draft.

sol magnus wrote:

Greebtron wrote:

sol magnus wrote:A lot to unpack, but great work compiling this. The tone and tenor of what you've described - even the slapstick nonsensical comedy - is a lot like My Little Pony the movie, if any of you have seen that...it was much more 'cartoony' fare.

If we're talking about the G1 movie in 1986, then no. George Arthur Bloom on his worst day could run circles around Ron Friedman when it came to storytelling.

I'm talking about the above first draft of TF:TM. Not the final draft.

So is Greebtron. Ron Friedman wrote the first draft of TFTM described above. George Arthur Bloom wrote the MLP movie you mentioned. What Greebtron is saying is that that MLP movie is far more competently-written than what Friedman wrote in the first TFTM draft.

Sabrblade wrote:

sol magnus wrote:

Greebtron wrote:

sol magnus wrote:A lot to unpack, but great work compiling this. The tone and tenor of what you've described - even the slapstick nonsensical comedy - is a lot like My Little Pony the movie, if any of you have seen that...it was much more 'cartoony' fare.

If we're talking about the G1 movie in 1986, then no. George Arthur Bloom on his worst day could run circles around Ron Friedman when it came to storytelling.

I'm talking about the above first draft of TF:TM. Not the final draft.

So is Greebtron. Ron Friedman wrote the first draft of TFTM described above. George Arthur Bloom wrote the MLP movie you mentioned. What Greebtron is saying is that that MLP movie is far more competently-written than what Friedman wrote in the first TFTM draft.

Yeah, but I'm not talking about the competency, either. I'm talking about the type of action and comedic bits such as Arcee spinning Starscream like Popeye and Bluto and all that kind of stuff, as well as weird nonsencial train-bots that seem fine for 'fantasy', but not for the real worldesque feel of Transformers. Almost in a 'house style' kind of way. I never said MLP:TM was bad or anything. I wasn't making a qualitative comparison. Just that this version of the script has that cartoony quality to it (which works for MLP, but not Transformers). I just see a certain parallel in the style of the action (minus perhaps the Galvatron mercing a bunch of Autobots near the end). That's all.

I also find the ...symbiosis...of Optimus Prime/Orion Pax/ Ultra Magnus and all these alternate uses of one or the other to be quite fascinating as well. Looks like they didn't do a lot of stuff they didn't use in some form or fashion.

I also find it at least somewhat appropriate for Wheeljack to be this weird Misogynist - maybe it's the accent.

sol magnus wrote:I also find it at least somewhat appropriate for Wheeljack to be this weird Misogynist - maybe it's the accent.

Heh, it wouldn't surprise me if Chris Latta ever made such remarks back in his stand-up routines, what with his having needed to be bailed out of jail so often in order for him to record his lines for Transformers and G.I. Joe back in the day, and even getting fired from King Koopa's Kool Kartoons for alleged misconduct with the kids in the audience and making casual onscreen threats to fan mail writers for comedy (but some speculate said threats were merely scripted since he was playing a villain after all, and that the fan mail may not have even been real).

First 5 or 6 minutes of the panel at time index 6:28 :

Sabrblade wrote:

sol magnus wrote:I also find it at least somewhat appropriate for Wheeljack to be this weird Misogynist - maybe it's the accent.

Heh, it wouldn't surprise me if Chris Latta ever made such remarks back in his stand-up routines, what with him having had to be bailed out of jail so often order for him to record his lines for Transformers and G.I. Joe back in the day, and even getting fired from King Koopa's Kool Kartoons for alleged misconduct with the kids in the audience and making casual onscreen threats to fan mail writers for comedy (but some speculate said threats were merely scripted since he was playing a villain after all, and that the fan mail may not have even been real).

He was probably 'the most interesting man in the world' when he was alive...at least to ua geek types.

Chris McFeely has started redoing the panel in twitter thread form. Currently at the end of Act I at time of writing: https://twitter.com/chrismcfeely/status ... 8771748865

Parts 2 and 3 are done:
https://twitter.com/chrismcfeely/status ... 7473763337

https://twitter.com/chrismcfeely/status ... 8203246592

Wow... Only now got done reading the summary and... Wow.

Well, thats pretty bad, but very interesting to see now. Basically everything was better in the final movie. But hindsight and all. One thing I do notice is they pretty much used the character design of Col Rusty as Lt Falcon later in the GI Joe movie. Very cool of Sabr to put this up here and Jim, Chris to put it all together and present it. What a find. I can only imagine some of the stuff Flint Dille and others from back then have in closets or have thrown away, hehe. Thanks everyone involved.

Moonshot wrote:Well, thats pretty bad, but very interesting to see now. Basically everything was better in the final movie. But hindsight and all. One thing I do notice is they pretty much used the character design of Col Rusty as Lt Falcon later in the GI Joe movie. Very cool of Sabr to put this up here and Jim, Chris to put it all together and present it. What a find. I can only imagine some of the stuff Flint Dille and others from back then have in closets or have thrown away, hehe. Thanks everyone involved.

All the new character designs in this are fan art. They are not actually what they would have all looked like.

I know the 86 Movie doesn’t have the most Oscar worthy plot, but damn it could have been a lot worse. Still interesting though, can’t wait to read through it when it gets released online.